With A Learning Spirit Or A Broken Heart?

Yesterday at Pure Barre, at 6AM, there was a young lady in the front of the class…drinking a Starbucks Frappuccino…Yes, in the middle of class…While the rest of us were lifting, tucking and burning…She was half-heartedly going through the movements, rolling her eyes, as if saying, “I have better things to do!”.

Again, this morning…again, at 6AM, there was a different young lady at the front of the class…While she wasn’t drinking a Starbucks coffee, she was half-heartedly going through the movements, looking at her watch, rolling her eyes…

Now, it isn’t any of my business how you participate in your workout class. I’m not paying for your enrollment. But, my goodness, as my husband will attest, Pure Barre ain’t cheap! Why wake up in the morning early enough to make a 6AM class, and pay a premium to participate, if you aren’t going to give it your all and get something out of it?

We should be considering the trials and struggles and hardships we face in our lives in the same way. If you’re currently (or have ever been) trying to conceive, you know it is absolutely the definition of a trial, a struggle, a hardship. It is a disciplined routine of waiting, worry, panic, sadness, hope, and despair. It is hard not to get mucked down with depression after months and months and months (or even years) of placing all your hope in finally becoming parents, and having that hope dashed, repeatedly.

Here is what the Bible has to say about the heartaches and troubles we face here on Earth:

JAMES 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds

So, we should be happy about struggle in our lives? Why?

JAMES 1:3-4 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

Difficulties in our lives are times for learning, growth – a reawakening, if you will. As we face something challenging, we should look to see what God could be teaching us as we navigate through the rough waters. One of the greatest men the world has ever known, the apostle, Paul, says (regarding the perpetual ‘thorn in his side’):

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

What life lessons could we learn through the struggle of infertility? Here are some benefits and lessons Craig & I have gained as we have faced this storm in our life head on:

• Spiritual Benefits/Lessons/Changes
• We have used the past 17 months of marriage, without children, to truly build a solid foundation in our relationship firmly (gaining more and more everyday) rooted in the Lord.
• Our prayer life has greatly deepened. We went from praying separately to (nervously) praying together to holding hands and baring our souls out loud as we have a conversation with God – together.
• Our relationship with God has deepened. Neither Craig nor I has ever had to go without much. We both come from wonderful, supportive, Christian families, and grew up with equally great siblings. We had everything in the world to be thankful for – but were we, then? I mean, truly, deeply, thankful? Fully appreciative of all the many blessing we had been graced with? No. This difficult time in our life has increased our devotion to the Lord so many times over, I cannot even describe it. If it were appropriate to say the change has been ‘like magic’, I would certainly describe it that way…but it isn’t magic. It’s something so much more amazing. It’s grace.
• Worldly Benefits/Lessons/Changes
• Craig & I are truly a team. Dealing with infertility, together, in our marriage has created this strong partnership. We know we can go to each other with any.single.thing, and speak openly and honestly about it.
• We have a savings account – just for the future Baby Lefebvre – whether by adoption or natural birth.
• I was able to gain almost a year’s experience as a nanny to (very) young children. This was real world, invaluable, experience I would never have otherwise had. I am now intensely familiar with potty training a two-year old, changing a tiny baby’s diaper while holding his twin sister on your hip, preparing formula, and getting (twin) infants on a sleep/eat/play schedule-all while entertaining a two-year old. Invaluable experience. 

And those are just some of the things we have learned or gained from this angry storm cloud called infertility. I am not, in any way, shape, form or fashion, saying this is fun, ‘not a big deal’, or easy; however, we should absolutely take our trials and grow, learn, and prosper from them.

Just as those two girls in Pure Barre this week were not taking advantage of the workout going on right under their noses, we cannot let the lessons and significant opportunities of our pain and difficulty pass us by. What a waste it would be to sit around and mope (although, the easiest way to pass the time…)… We should be using our time in the tunnel wisely.