And we are giving it all to God.
For the past year and a half, (on Saturday, Craig & I celebrated one and a half years of marriage and three years of knowing each other!!!!), we have been trying and researching and going through treatments, therapies, tests, and surgeries in order to reach OUR goal – of having a child.
We still want children and a big family so much it makes our hearts ache, but we want something else even more…
To follow God wherever He leads us.
And obviously, He hasn’t led us to children – yet.
This isn’t to say we have given up on having children…but our first priority is going to be God’s will for our marriage.
I made the call to our fertility clinic yesterday, telling them we are taking a break from all of the testing and medications and hormones. And when I hung up the phone, I expected to feel defeated and saddened.
But I felt exactly the opposite. I felt immediately empowered and excited.
When God blesses Craig & I with a beautiful child – either by natural birth, embryo implantation or adoption – all the glory will be HIS.
In the meantime, I have felt a calling to something more. A calling from God to truly live for Him. We are discerning that call, and already doors are opening and He is speaking…and we have taken that first step – of obedience.
We gave up, and gave it to the Lord.