{Deep breath}

Oh, this is a hard topic. For me anyway…and for any of you out there who have experienced infertility. This post covers something never spoken about, but felt so strongly by those of us who have endured this trial. Those of you who have had no issues in conceiving a child might not understand this pain, but for those of us who know it – it stings. (What an understatement.)

Gena Golas of the blog “CT Working Moms“, writes in the Huffington Post about “The Five Stages Of Infertility Grief“, and while it might seem a humorous post for some…It is all too real to be laughable.

For those of us who deal with infertility on a daily basis, to hear: “Oh, it’ll happen. Don’t think about it so much. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.” or “It will happen as soon as you ‘stop trying so hard’,” is akin to being punched in the stomach. I can’t tell you how many times we have heard those phrases, and on each of those occasions, I have been forced to hold back my tears. Every time we see horror stories on the news about child abuse and neglect, I am reduced to a puddle on the floor – wondering why them, and why not us!?!? 

I will admit it gets harder and harder every single day to bow my head in prayer for the same thing Craig and I have been praying for for the past 16 months. I keep in my heart Hannah, Sarah, Rachel, the mother of Samson…Women of the Bible who were infertile only temporarily, until God stepped in and gave them a blessing, a miracle, an utterly amazing gift.

I keep these verses close by for comfort:

• “…that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 2:5
• “…God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20
• “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

At the end of the day, this excerpt from the Infertility Survival Guide by Cindy Lewis Dake, hits the nail on the head of how Craig and I feel:

“We have a good life together. I don’t want us to “embrace the emptiness” that seems to swallow up some infertile couples. “Empty arms” doesn’t mean empty hearts. When a couple desperately wants a child, they begin to think their life is empty without one. They become completely centered on the quest for a child, financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. We don’t want that feeling to ever control us. We love our life together and want to always be satisfied with it, so if a child comes along, he/she will be an added blessing.” 

But it is the biggest struggle we have ever faced – together or apart – to go on without that blessing – wondering if we will ever be blessed with a child.

As always, we ask for your prayers.

All Our Love,