TTC Tuesday

Though You Slay Me

tuesday

Crying in front of people doesn’t come easy for me. I was told once, as a child, that I looked like a duck when I cried, and that was that – I have tried to hold back the tears ever since. But there are just certain times when ‘logic’ is thrown out the window. Times when the pain is too heavy to hold in. When the tears are too quick to wipe away before someone sees.

Unfortunately, I have had some practice crying over the past few weeks. Alas, I haven’t mastered *not* looking like a duck…

I guess it isn’t *popular* to discuss the awful parts of life, but I’ve never been one to follow the crowd. After almost five years of prayers and hope and tears, we found out on April 21st we were finally pregnant…And then, at 8 weeks, we miscarried. There was nothing that could have prevented it. No womb has been prayed over more – before or after pregnancy. We have had faith out the wazoo for years (and still do). The truth is: CRAPPY THINGS HAPPEN. That’s why this is the fallen world we live in, and why we anxiously await Heaven and its unimaginable perfection. {If you want the full, detailed story, visit our YouTube channel here.}

So far, we are still searching for meaning in all of this. Eerily, this feels all too similar to our failed adoption last summer, and we were only just beginning to ‘heal’ from that heartbreak. Thus, I can tell you that what I have learned is that biology has little to do with matters of the heart. Losing our own biological child, and the one we grew to love in our hearts from afar has dealt the same pain.

We need your prayers as we heal and begin to move forward. We know we are called to be parents, and have faith that God’s plan for our family is infinitely greater and more incredible than we could ever imagine.

As we have grieved these past weeks, we’ve heard and read so many things contrary to our beliefs:

  • From A Christian Publication: Miscarriage is punishment for something you have done.
  • From A Christian Book About Marriage: When facing miscarriage and infertility, you have to realize when is the time to give up on your dream of having children.
  • From A *Trusted* Christian Leader: This pregnancy would have continued smoothly if only you had had enough faith.

Seriously. As we have searched for answers in the midst of this tragedy, these are all things we have read or heard…All of them claim to be ‘Christian’ points-of-view, but not a single one of them is Scripturally-sound. There is not one woman in the Bible who remains barren for life. There is also no guarantee of a stress-free life of ease in the Christian journey. Why would there be? Aren’t we meant to long for Christ’s return and our Eternal Home in Heaven?

As I dwell on upsetting, make-me-cry-like-a-duck life events, I recall Paul, Sarah & Abraham, Hannah, Jesus, Job. No *happiness-only* lives there. In James 1:1-13, we learn that trials in life mold us into mature Christians, as we learn to submit wholly to Jesus, and trust in Him completely. This doesn’t make sense to us, of course – myself included, but as the prophet Isaiah tells us:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts. Neither are your ways my ways, saith Jehovah. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isa. 55:8-9)

God’s ways are certainly not our ways, and far far above and beyond anything we could fathom or comprehend, but speaking to the loss of a child-in-utero being a punishment, have you ever heard of Job? Most faithful man on the entire planet in his day? He lost his whole family and all of his belongings, and the Bible is clear when it relates that it wasn’t the result of sin.

But the real ‘lesson’, I suppose, is not in the causation so much as in the response:

“Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” (Job 13:15)

And so that is how we are trying to respond to this trial. It’s all we can do. Trust and wait on Him. Though we are heartbroken, yet will we stand in our faith.

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My Choice Monday

My Choice Monday: Joy

Monday

Let me be brutally honest.

Life is hard.

It’s hard to be alone every week. It’s hard to watch all my friends post pictures on Facebook and Instagram of their beautiful children. It’s hard to accept that some people don’t want to rekindle friendship with you and your husband. It’s not fun to wake up and be on the road before the sun in the morning, every morning, and arrive back home – to a husband-less household – after the sun has gone back to bed.

But in spite of all of that, and any other circumstances I may have glossed over, people continually remark at my cheerful demeanor, how happy and carefree I seem to be…and I can honestly say it isn’t my doing at all.

Job 13:15

Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.

Have any of you recently read the book of Job? I’m currently reading and studying this book of the Bible, and if you haven’t read it closely, WOW, Job had it pretty bad. I feel almost embarrassed to complain about anything in my life because, well, there but for the grace of God go I!

Job was not only the wealthiest man around; he also was “…a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?” (Job 1:8 ESV) He was blessed with ten children, numerous servants, countless livestock…probably the nicest tent on the block! And not only these material possessions were taken away, but his health fell away too. Job 2:8 (ESV) says, “And he took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself while he sat in the ashes.”

Here is a man who was on top of the world, and now he sits on top of ashes, where his belongings had burned. His children are gone. His servants are gone. His livestock is gone. And he is covered from head to toe with itchy boils and sores covering his skin, and all he can do is scrape at himself with a shard of pottery, broken in the midst of everything.

Job’s wife, almost understandably so, says to him, “…Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.” Job 2:9 (ESV)

But his response to her is a lesson for all of us:

But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.” Job 2:10 (ESV)

Job trusted God. He praised God, and he accepted his circumstances.

Not that my own circumstances come close to those of Job, but I have found in praying about and trying to find reason and comfort for many of the things going on in our life, if Jesus calls you to experience something, He gives you everything you need to get through it. And not only survive, but to do so with JOY and PEACE.

John 14:27 says, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give it to you. Let your heart not be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

It’s the very thing that allows persecuted Christians to get out of bed every morning: their worlds may be falling apart around them, but they are BLESSED with a RELATIONSHIP with the CREATOR – “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

It’s amazing what Jesus can do with circumstances in our lives that seem to be only painful at first glance. I am so blessed to be asked to share Jesus with so many people simply because they hear a part of our story and are amazed at the peace and calm and joy in our lives.

The Lord gives his people strength.
The Lord blesses them with peace. Psalm 29:11 (NLT)

That peace, strength and JOY is Jesus and our relationship to Him, my friends. It’s nothing short of amazing, and He is all you need.

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Where Faith Will Lead…

Some bloggers post daily, and well, as you may have noticed, we don’t. There’s a reason for this, and it isn’t laziness or the fact we’re TOO boring! 😉 We do have A LOT going on, but the fact of the matter is we only blog when we feel ‘led’ to do so. I feel like our blog is meant to be, not only an update for our family and friends of what’s going on in our lives, but also a tool in sharing Christ’s love – how He has touched and miraculously transformed our lives – and how sharing that can help others, as well.

Today, I felt led to blog about my new job – I just love it! I’m a nanny to one-month old twins and an adorable, bright and bubbly two-year old little girl, and this position has been nothing short of a life-changing experience for me! Some said it would be a realization for me, insofar as how much of a ‘handful’ caring for young children really is. As a matter of fact, I not only care for these precious babies, but I cook for the family, as well – at least twice a week. I also do the children’s laundry and help keep the house clean and orderly. I do some grocery shopping and help run errands. After all is said and done, I feel quite blessed – not stressed.

Don’t get me wrong – This isn’t an EASY or RELAXING job AT. ALL. However, it’s work I love to do! There is such a sense of accomplishment in providing care for children and in helping a family, versus my former life of filing and typing documents and speaking in corporate lingo. This is not to say there is a thing in the world wrong with that type of work – more power to those who thrive in the business world and the corporate environment! At this time in my life, an office just isn’t where I’m supposed to be!

I know God blessed me with intelligence and I could easily have accomplished whatever sort of academic agenda was at hand, with His guidance. But right now, that’s just not my place in the world. In fact, my new job has only strengthened Craig and my faith, and made us desire a family of our own even more. We cannot wait to have children of our own!

We have wanted children from the beginning, but now with some fresh experience under my belt, I can confidently say being a mother is what God has in mind for my life, for our lives, and parenthood is the path He is leading us on. It’s funny, the life lesson I’m receiving has the benefit of a pay check, when the ultimate job we desire for me pays nothing – monetarily speaking. 🙂

Please pray for Craig and I in starting a family of our own. Please pray for patience. Please pray for strength of character. Please pray for the blessing of many children on our marriage.

In Christ,

The Newlywed Lefebvres

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Six Months of Marriage!

Today is a wonderful day marking SIX MONTHS of Wedded Bliss for Craig and I! Such an absolute blessing these recent months have been, and there is no one to thank more than God above! Thank you; Thank you; Thank you – Infinite thanks! Never could we have found our jigsaw puzzle piece matches without His omnicience!

In other news, I apologize it has been several weeks since I last wrote – the tides, they are a-changing! 🙂 And with those changes, of course, come a lot of time consumption! 🙂 What all has happened since we last met? Well, due to an…interesting turn of events….I ended my employment as an Executive Assistant a few days earlier than planned…My, that’s a long story…As we noted in the last blog post, Craig and I had been planning for me to leave for several months, but when we KNEW the time was right, we acted…and within DAYS, we had not just one, but 4 different job opportunities staring us in the face – and I hadn’t applied for a single one of them. Please know, we aren’t pointing this out in order to boast, but simply because it was only further proof we were on the path God was leading us down! Jesus says in Luke 17:6, “If you had faith no bigger than a mustard seed, you could tell this mulberry tree to pull itself up, roots and all, and to plant itself in the ocean. And it would.” We listened to the Lord, put our trust in Him, and He provided. Nothing is impossible with God. (Thanks to our choir director, Dian, for reminding us of this again last week with a BEAUTIFUL song – “Nothing Is Impossible With God”, sung in four parts. Come hear us sing at St. Francis in Cartersville! Sundays at 10am!)

We prayerfully considered all of these 4 positions, and in the end, chose the one that, while on paper may not look the ‘best’, is certainly what we feel I am being called to do at this time. The new job begins in April – so more details to come!

Other than this new career path, it’s been a busy couple of weeks filled with catching up on cleaning and resting and COOKING! 🙂 We even had the pleasure of entertaining my brother for dinner one evening when he came to meet little Lucy! Stuffed pork chops. Delicious! If you’re interested in the recipe, send us an e-mail, and we’ll let you in on our EASY to prepare and gluten-free secret! 😉

Lucy

 

Well, I must be off! Before my husband returns home, I promised him I’d finish sewing the draperies for our bedroom – a long overdue project I finally have the time to complete!

Take Care All Of You!

Much Love,

Pier & Craig

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Experiencing God

Good Afternoon Everyone!

This has been just a whirlwind of a week thus far! I can’t believe it’s only Thursday – Feels like it should already be Monday again…But we can’t skip over the weekend, can we? 🙂

Sunday morning both Craig and I sang with the choir at Mass! Yes! My husband surprised me and absolutely made my YEAR by telling me he wanted to serve God in song with me!

My Awesome Husband In The Vest I Bought Him For Valentine's
My Awesome Husband In The Vest I Bought Him For Valentine’s

Tuesday afternoon I gave notice at my current office job, and my last day is March 5th! Craig and I aren’t positive what the next step will be, but we both know we made the right decision together when we chose for me to leave my high stress job. As with everything, we are praying for God’s Will to guide us in the right direction. He brought Craig and I together; He led us to an amazing new church parish; and He will lead us in the perfect path for what I’ll do next. Keep us in your prayers that we will have the strength to listen to Him for His guidance.

Crazy LoveWe also began our Lenten Bible Study (via the phone) last night! We chose “Experiencing God” by Henry Blackaby. Just in going over the Preface and Introduction together, I feel like we really got something out of it. There are many opportunities to refer back to the Bible and we had some wonderful discussions over what was said. You’ll have to check it out for yourself. I know God is leading us on the right path and you can never have TOO strong a relationship with Christ. The study is all about that relationship, and being more of a Christian than just attending church on Sunday mornings. I can’t wait to go over the first part of Chapter 1 this evening! Hopefully, our little devil dog angel puppy doesn’t make that too difficult. 🙂

Last Saturday night, Craig and I attended one of the FINAL showers for our dear friends Ashley and JW….It was a great get together, and I just can’t tell them enough how HAPPY we are for them! Ashley and I are lucky girls for sure! 🙂

ASJ ShowerTheir wedding is just over a month away! Eeeek!!! Such an exciting time!! I remember it well…It was just over 5 months ago for Craig and I!!! As we pulled out of the driveway after the shower, we both looked at each other and said, “SO GLAD WE ARE MARRIED NOW and are done with the planning and parties!!!” You’re almost there, Ash and JW!!! You can finally just relax and enjoy being husband and wife…and making grocery lists, and paying bills, and taking out the trash, and doing laundry… 🙂 LOL – Seriously, it is all AMAZING when you marry your soulmate and best friend! I speak from experience.

Well, it’s time for me to relish in the last few bits of dictation I get to do here at RB&Co. No tears. I promise. 🙂

Love Y’all,

Pier & Craig