Someone pointed out to me the other day, the real trouble with infertility is you are walking around with a broken heart. No matter how much you are dying inside for the precious blessing of a child, you cannot make one appear.
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized we are in mourning.
Mourning for the life you planned out for yourself…and don’t have.
Mourning for the child you want to hold…and can’t.
Mourning for someone to be calling you “Mommy” or “Daddy”… who isn’t there.
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the Lord has planted for his own glory.
Psalm 30:11
11 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy
The beautiful news is that our mourning can be replaced with the joy of the Lord! We aren’t equipped to “get through this” on our own, and we aren’t supposed to! Call on Him to help you through your mourning, your grief, your pity, your sadness.
Luke 11:9-10
“And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
For, as Hillsong sings in the song above:
When I call on Jesus, mountains are gonna fall, ’cause He’ll move Heaven and Earth to come rescue me when I call.
God is good, folks. He will pull you through. We just have to let Him.
As I mentioned on Friday, we had the pleasure of guest posting Saturday over at Footprints On My Heart, and we would love for you to visit and see this post for yourself! It includes pictures from our trip a year ago (Oh my goodness! It’s been that long?!?!) to Rome, and we think you’ll enjoy it.
In other news, WE HAVE A WINNER!!! The winner of our giveaway is Pamela James! Pamela, please e-mail me with your mailing information, and we’ll send your prize right over! Our runner-up was Beany Lefebvre, and don’t you worry – We have a gift for you, as well! 😉
And our product choice for this week…
Click For Purchase Info!
…this glass water bottle by Ello! I personally have this very same water bottle and absolutely love it – It’s BPA-free, and dishwasher safe, plus at 22oz, I know I am drinking as much water as possible throughout the day! This little guy goes EVERYWHERE with me – Pure Barre, work, the gym, to the store, on a road trip… The silicone seal means the water stays fresh and the glass keeps it relatively cold. I keep on my nightstand for my 1-2/night ‘wake up in the middle of the night for water’, and have loved that my water is never warm and always tastes delicious! I’m not sure why but cold water tastes so much better in glass than in plastic…but maybe those are just my taste buds. 😉 Try this one for yourself! You won’t be sorry you made this purchase!
Prayer is our other ‘choice’ for the week! We have a LARGE prayer request list, and just ask that you pray for our intentions, as well as let us know how we can pray for you! Fill in the contact form below – It is 100% confidential, and just sends us an e-mail with your prayer requests so we can pray for you! All we ask in return is that you pray for our list too!
“Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.”
Isaiah 40:31
“…but those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.”
Choices and our reactions to them are discussed in the Bible, as well.
Mark 8:27-33 says,
“Jesus and his disciples set out
for the villages of Caesarea Philippi.
Along the way he asked his disciples,
“Who do people say that I am?”
They said in reply,
“John the Baptist, others Elijah,
still others one of the prophets.”
And he asked them,
“But who do you say that I am?”
Peter said to him in reply,
“You are the Christ.”
Then he warned them not to tell anyone about him.
He began to teach them
that the Son of Man must suffer greatly
and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes,
and be killed, and rise after three days.
He spoke this openly. Then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. At this he turned around and, looking at his disciples, rebuked Peter and said, ‘Get behind me, Satan. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.‘ ”
Rebuke. Interesting word. I was pretty confident I knew what it meant, but I looked it up to be sure…because I really wanted to understand what was being said here.
re·buke
verb
to express sharp disapproval or criticism of (someone) because of their behavior or actions.
So Peter criticized Jesus for what He said…Wow. Can you imagine making that choice?!?!
WAIT A SECOND…
Peter may have criticized the Lord in His physical presence, but don’t we often do the same thing exactly the same thing? And with the Holy Spirit living right in our souls…
How many times have you read or heard something Jesus asks of us as Christians to do and rolled your eyes or talked your way around obeying Him? How often do we doubt His Word and His promises? If you’re human (and I’m guessing most of us are), you are guilty of it every single day. I know I am.
But let’s look at Jesus’ reply:
‘Get behind me, Satan. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.‘
” …we must also see how easily we can become an unwitting spokesperson for Satan. This is especially true when we lose sight of God’s plan for us. This comes about when our focus is on our careers, our possessions, our security, the things of the world rather than upon sacrifice and service and the proclaiming of God’s message. When Peter’s focus shifted to his own desires and plans, Jesus rebuked him in order to get him back on track. May our focus always be on God and His plans, that we may never experience a similar rebuke from our Lord.”
I think our loss of focus on GOD’s will for our lives can sometimes stem from prayer we feel has been unanswered. I know I am guilty of losing grasp of any understanding of His purpose for my life when things take an unexpected turn.
But the more I pray, the more I force myself out of my comfort zone and into my Jesus zone, the more I push myself into scripture reading and singing…the more I fall back into God’s grace.
Isaiah 55:8
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
Let’s make a steadfast effort to make the choice for HIS WAY… because I don’t even want to fathom what awaits us heading the other way…
Last night on my way home this song was on and it brought me to tears and my newly found up-raised arm…How powerful.
Make the choice and the change for Christ.
PS – Here are the lyrics for the song above. I just have a feeling you’ll want to know them, and pray them.
“Keep Making Me”
Make me broken
So I can be healed
‘Cause I’m so calloused
And now I can’t feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken
Make empty
So I can be filled
‘Cause I’m still holding
Onto my will
And I’m completed
When you are with me
Make me empty
[Chorus:]
‘Til You are my one desire
‘Til You are my one true love
‘Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making meMake me lonely
So I can be Yours
‘Til I want no one
More than You, Lord
‘Cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me
Make me lonely[Chorus]
In honor of this special day, we are going to share our favorite story with you: Our Love Story. It’s been published as a guest post on The Veil Of Chastity, and is now a ‘page’ on this very blog – just as a reminder to me, as I write each day’s post, of just how WONDERFULLY amazing God is. Oh, His Mysterious Ways… So here goes, Our Love Story – For Your Valentine’s Day Reading Enjoyment:
Our Love Story
I was raised all my life in a Christian home. I always felt like Jesus and I were on very good terms, but one day, in 2008, I felt this need, this overwhelming compelling need to convert to Catholicism. There was really no basis, per say, for it, but I felt God calling me to make this change. If you know anything about me, you might know that I have a lot of grandiose ideas, but not so many of them are seen through to fruition. You see, I’m a perfectionist and if I feel there is one little hint of something having the chance to not being completed 100% correctly, I usually don’t follow-through… Bad habit, I know.
The Mallory Family
Converting to Catholicism was different though. I went through RCIA with a hunger for knowledge. When my very Protestant family raised concerns for my change, I was able to calm their ‘fears’ very easily and logically. When I was finally a confirmed Catholic on November 22, 2008, there was a sense of peace about me that I had never known.
Pier’s Confirmation Day at Holy Spirit Catholic Church
I continued my Catholic walk, gradually losing that zeal for the Church I had had in the beginning. Over the years, I knew God had called me to become a Catholic because I was finally able to truly worship within the Mass – a feeling I hadn’t felt in Protestant church in some time, but there was something missing, it seemed. Why had God called me to become a single Catholic? I just didn’t understand.
At first, I thought, perhaps, I was called to become a nun. I reached out to several convents, read all of the brochures and prayed about each of the distinct vocations. But it still didn’t seem like that was where God was calling me. Then, one day, I was at work, and I felt God speak to me – It was more like a gentle nudging really. I was in front of my computer, and I felt God tell me to go to CatholicMatch.com. Seriously. I argued with him, audibly, at my desk for a little while. Then, finally, I gave in.
“Fine.” I said, “I am leaving this in your hands, God. My future spouse is in your hands. I have tried on my own, and I obviously can’t handle this task. You choose for me. You show me who you have in store for my future.”
And that, my dears, is history. I signed onto Catholic Match, and one week later received a message from a guy who seemed genuinely interesting. He wrote me the longest and most beautiful e-mails. It was so painfully obvious that this man truly had a heart for Christ, and when he asked for my phone number later that month, we had dozens of conversations that lasted for hours on end. Never was there a dull moment in conversation. Neither of us are (or were then) self-proclaimed ‘phone people’, but speaking to each other was always the high point of each of our days. I knew it to be true on my end, and it was pretty apparent from his…
I tried and tried and tried to find “the one” on my own – without God’s help. For years and years, I dated guys who seemed to have similar interests; based on ‘attraction’; who just ‘wanted to get married’; who were nice…It never worked. For one reason or another, I wound up 28 years old and scared to death I was going to be {gasp!} 30 and unmarried! That’s when I gave the reins to God, and allowed him to point me in the direction of my soulmate.
From my first date with Craig, there was a tugging at my heartstrings that this one was the one. He took me out for dinner and drinks, and we laughed and talked and smiled at each other across the table for 4-5 hours. A very obviously inebriated man approached our table while Craig was in the restroom, and told me he just wanted to let me know how beautiful I was…Craig came back to this, and told me, shyly, “That man was right. You are beautiful.”
When I got home that evening, my heart was soaring. I felt like a 16 year old girl who had just been asked to prom by the football star – and it never stopped. That feeling is the same one I get even today when Craig has been on a trip for work, and comes through the front door, or when I am almost home from work and know he is waiting for me…I still get butterflies.
Craig planned our 2nd date – we met one Sunday for a Bible Study at the Catholic parish closest to my (then) condo. I thought, then, “Wow. This has God’s writing all over it.” And I was so right. It was becoming glaringly obvious as to why God led me to become a Catholic those 3 years earlier. It was finally clear. He was preparing me for my holy spouse.
Craig and I didn’t even attempt to kiss until our 5th date, two months later… but just one month after that, he told me he loved me for the first time – and it was genuine. We both knew – it was palpable – we had been in love from the first moment we set eyes on one another. He told me later he felt like I could be ‘the one’ even before we had ever met in person. He always made me a priority, and treated every situation we were in and every conversation we had as if I were his future spouse.
The Dating Days
After eight months of dating, Craig told me, while overlooking the waves on a beautiful beach, that he wanted to marry me, and was actively ‘searching for rings’. On the one year anniversary of our very first date, Craig surprised the heck out of me with the most romantic and well-thought-out proposal, and (after I literally fell out of my chair and onto my knees beside him) I answered him, “Absolutely.”
Right After I Said “ABSOLUTELY!!!!”
Never was there a choice I was surer of. We were married just over 5 months later in a beautiful Catholic Mass, surrounded by all of our family and close friends. We have been blissfully married now for 16 months, and our love only increases day by day. I am blessed with a husband who is truly my partner, my very best friend, my holy spouse. I have every confidence this is the man God intended for me from everything about our relationship, from the fact we finish each other’s sentences to the fact he likes the cake and I prefer the icing. We are absolutely a match made in Heaven, by God.
I think there is no question that along with anything God-given comes superabundance – of things that matter. This isn’t to say that everything is always 100% perfect, or that God answers YES to everything we ask for. We have been trying to conceive a child for 16 months, to no avail. BUT, the faithfulness, the love, the trust, the peace, the joy, the kindness within our marriage and our relationship…It isn’t a human amount. It’s a God amount. And life within a marriage, within God’s plan? That’s like living life, no matter what storms may rain down on you, in a perpetual hug.
It is unbelievably apparent to me we were both hidden by the veil. I was a serial dater, and there were plenty of guys who I ‘could have seen myself with’, but no matter how ‘good the relationship was’, it was only ‘of this world’. Craig will tell you the same thing about his past, which tried to pull him away from the Catholic faith, and it turns out there certainly wasn’t anything ‘other-worldly’ about it, either. Nothing has ever even come close to comparing to the manner in which Craig courted me; the diligence he had to God; the pure love and compassion he showed me… All of it was different and indescribable. NOTHING of this world.
The world may have chosen differently for Craig and I. For Craig, maybe society would have chosen someone more outdoorsy, someone with a love for baseball and a penchant for cold weather (He’s from Minnesota and went to college at the University of North Dakota.). For me, maybe the world might have picked someone who grew up in the South, someone with the same love for all things southern and monogrammed, someone passionate about music and the opera, but even the mere thoughts just break my heart because the world would have been wrong.
God knows exactly what He is doing, and what is best for you. Wait on Him.
Now THAT Is A Match Made In Heaven!
Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, and a fabulous weekend folks!
{Please view this post within an internet browser in order to play the video.}
About two years ago, I made a decision. Having just gotten married and introducing myself to one of the longest commutes ever, I chose to turn off the argumentative talk radio and the popular music in the mornings, and listen to a Christian radio station. I found that while I was immersing my car interior with God’s love and peace, I was more apt to say a prayer than a swear word at the driver who just cut me off.
Fast forward to 2014. The morning commute is not enough. During the past several months, Craig and I have grown in our devotion to God, and we simply cannot stomach half of the music on the radio or the shows on television.
This is why it is said: Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. Ephesians 5:14
When you are truly living in the light of Christ, the things of this world – the music, the movies, the television shows… It all seems foreign. It used to pain me to hear a certain swear word, that I feel strongly blasphemes the Lord. Now? Not only does that word sting my ears, the filthy talk we are flooded with constantly, burns. It hurts. It makes me want to cry for the world who doesn’t know the peace that Jesus gives.
We usually don’t plan our posts, but I’ve felt this one coming on all week. Interestingly enough, I read another blog I’ve subscribed to and found her post yesterday to be oh so similar. Coincidence? I think not. Not where God is concerned. Read her post here. God is speaking to a world that has become all too complacent and lax – a group of Christians who need to take a stand.
One of the bands we had the pleasure of seeing at Winter Jam was Tenth Avenue North… Listen to the song below. One of the pleasures of listening to Christian music versus popular music is suchbeautiful music. After all, anything written to praise the Lord can’t sound any other way.
{Please view this post within a browser to access the included video.}
So, what’s up in your neck of the woods? Here in Georgia, we are shut down once more – but this time, it’s due to an unprecedented ice storm – a storm that woke me up in the wee hours of the morning.
Yesterday Near Where Craig & I Live
It doesn’t look bad, but even the poor doggies were slipping around when I have taken them out to potty in our backyard. I can’t imagine the roads…They are expecting up to 1″ of ice. Yikes.
Our back deck…That’s one of Lucy’s HUGE bones – buried in ice!
In other news, this past week, as you know, we attended Winter Jam 2014:
Look At All Those People!No rain & not a cloud in the sky…But there were definitely beautiful rainbows peering down on us as we waited in line!
Every different genre of music was represented…There were amazing stories and testimonies shared… Georgia Bulldogs’ Coach Mark Richt spoke; Nik Wallenda walked across the Dome on a tightrope; A youth pastor from Minneapolis shared a wonderful sermon…We were SO blessed by the experience! God definitely led us to the Georgia Dome. There is no doubt.
On a lighter note, Monday was my first day as a permanent and ‘official’ employee with CHEP. It’s very exciting – This company is AWESOME and I am so happy to be a part of it!
Oh, and with Craig’s encouragement and expert driving ability during our last icy mess, in January, I completed Pure Barre’s 21 Day Challenge! Yay! Yep, that means, in one month, I completed 21 classes on 21 different days! I won’t say it wasn’t TOUGH (IT WAS!!!!), but it was so worth it!
Hope all of you are having a wonderful afternoon!! Stay warm!!!
Craig & I had so much fun at Winter Jam 2014! What an awesome experience!
Today, the following movie, set to premier on March 21st, is our “pick” for My Choice Monday: {Note: You will need to view this post in a browser in order to view the trailer.}
Newsboys played at Winter Jam this year, and since they are a part of the movie, the trailer was shown at the event! We are SO excited to see this film and really feel like it will be a part of a great movement!
Stay tuned for pictures and video of Winter Jam in Atlanta on What’s Up Wednesday! In the meantime, stay warm! It looks like this city may be on it’s way to Winter Wonderland again…
As you probably know, TOMS is a wonderful company that provides one pair of shoes to a needy child for each pair of their shoes sold. How GREAT is that?!? Plus, TOMS are super comfortable, which makes your purchase of them all that much better! Here is a great coupon we came across via (one of my favorite savings sites) Passionate Penny Pincher:
Enter the code NEWSPRING at checkout to receive Free Shipping (yay!)!
Another little something to make you smile? How about a FREE SAMPLE of Burberry Brit Rhythm For Women? Just click the picture below!
And now for one more freebie to make your Friday:
Click the image above for a free delicious waffle Monday through Friday, until Valentine’s Day – so guys, NO, you cannot take your significant other out for a Free Waffle Valentine’s Day Date! 🙂
Hopefully, these deals bring a smile to your face this Friday! If you’re in the Atlanta area, don’t forget about Winter Jam 2014! It begins tomorrow and entry is only $10! You can get more information by clicking the image below.
You’ll also find links to free music downloads and books! 🙂 If you’re not in the Atlanta area, be sure to check out the other locations of the tour to see when the Winter Jam Tour might be in your neck of the woods!
One final thing and then we’ll let you enjoy the rest of your Friday: Please continue to send up your prayers of healing – for us, for a couple very dear to us, for a certain girl close to my heart suffering through issues with her daughter, for all of us trying to conceive… Prayer is the only road to miracles.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
First, let me apologize we didn’t blog yesterday – I know ALL of you were just devastated not to have our “choices” for the week! Ha ha! Craig and I left the house earrrrly in the morning and were not home until laaaaate last night, so there wasn’t a chance for a good blog. But, have no fear – we did make two choices yesterday for you, so this will be a double post! 🙂
Yesterday, I took the day off work for Craig and I to make our first appointment at ACRM. We were so blessed with a knowledgeable, understanding, thorough care team, who highlighted a few issues with our current treatment program to begin with, and took steps to solve some problems from the get-go! What a breath of fresh air!!!
When we spoke with our new doctor about wanting to pursue options other than IUI and IVF, and about a new option, embryo adoption, we are exploring, she was ready with alternative ideas for us! And what began as a refreshing experience, turned into something absolutely praiseworthy!
You may remember we attended a Joan Hunter healing service in North Georgia on Friday evening. Ms. Hunter is a Christian woman with a healing ministry, traveling around the whole world, asking for people to have faith and understand WHO God is – how loving and powerful! (We are going to speak a little more about this on Thursday!) Craig and I prayed prior to going into the service that God would truly use Joan to bless us, and to show us why He had led us to this conference – which was completely out of our Catholic comfort zone. 🙂
At the end of the service, we asked that Ms. Hunter’s daughter, Melody, pray with us. She asked, in Jesus’ name, to heal me of PCOS, to give me a new ovary (she knew it was my right ovary, and we did not tell her this information…), and a new pancreas to handle my body’s insulin correctly. She asked God to please bless us with a child. As she placed her hands on me, and prayed for healing, I felt a warmth through my abdomen. I felt a peace. Craig and I truly felt the power of God that night. We both left feeling thankful and blessed beyond measure.
Yesterday, at our doctor’s appointment, they performed both an ultrasound and blood-work to check my estrogen levels – which are typically very elevated. There was no strand of cysts (as there usually is) on my right ovary – or my left, for that matter – and my bloodwork came back “perfectly normal” – and not normal PCOS, normal for normal women. Compare this to the previous ultrasounds and blood-work levels of this past 16 months, and the difference is marked. It truly does appear I have a new ovary and a new pancreas, regulating my insulin and thereby, my hormones.
This news was such a blessing yesterday, an affirmation of faith. I am not saying we will finally be blessed with a child tomorrow, or even this year, but God is healing me, and He will bless us with children in His time. We have faith.
To wrap up TTC Tuesday, I would like to share with you this post from “waiting for baby bird”: Devil, I’m Ignoring You!. It’s powerful, and beautiful, and if you are struggling with God’s timing and maintaining faith, it is a message straight from the Lord to you.
And now, let’s back up to My Choice Monday! 🙂
First, something fun – beer ice cream! While this is for “adults-only”, it is so delicious, and a perfectly sized dessert! Click here to see where you can find this yummy treat in your area!
And finally, while I have heard so many raves about White Barn Candle Company’s Marshmallow Fireside, when it came down to decision time, Craig & I fell in love with this scent over the other:
We don’t have a true fireplace – something that makes me a little sad during these ‘harsh Georgia winters’… 🙂 This candle provides a pleasant, homey, evening by the fireplace with a great book scent. Click on the candle for a GREAT price on this candle at Amazon!
Well, folks, that’s all for today! Enjoy your Tuesday, and we look forward to chatting tomorrow for What’s Up Wednesday!
We made it! It’s Friday & we have a busy weekend planned! Tonight we will be attending the Joan Hunter service at A Call To Salvation in North Georgia; Tomorrow, we head to LaGrange for haircuts & highlights & maybe a little bit of late Christmas-ing; Sunday, I cantor at Mass, and may be heading to Pure Barre in the afternoon; Monday, we round out our weekend as we visit the Atlanta Center For Reproductive Medicine and meet with our endocrinologist, nutritionists, counselors, etc etc etc. Very productive few days!
Today, I thought I would share with you a beautiful story written by Zig Ziglar‘s daughter, Julie Ziglar Norman, for Guideposts Magazine. It is a touching story that should leave you with the following “food for thought”:
It’s never too late for God to change you, and work through you.
God is truly the Almighty and anything is possible through Him.
Another piece of “food for thought” this Friday also comes from Guideposts, in the 2014 Devotional. It’s all about being present and looking forward.
Philippians 3:13
13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead
In this first month of this new year, one thing we all can take away from Paul’s writing in Philippians is to move forward. Don’t dwell in the past – whether you are looking back with longing for those “good ol’ days”, or with regret and disdain toward memories filled with shame and darkness.
Revelation 21:5
5 And he that sat on the throne, said: Behold, I make all things new. And he said to me: Write, for these words are most faithful and true.
2 Corinthians 5:17
17 If then any be in Christ a new creature, the old things are passed away, behold all things are made new.
We are new in Christ. He forgives our sins, and He isn’t interested in all those bright & shiny worldly objects from your earthly past. A Christian past isn’t enough either. We were not created to play for God’s team once or at one time. We are called as Christians to live for Him every single day.
John 10:10
10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I am come that they may have life, and may have it more abundantly.
Christ came for us to live our lives to the FULLEST EXTENT POSSIBLE. He created us for joy, not for sulking. Oh such a lesson that will change lives! If only we were all to look forward and live out our Christian walks with abundance and with joy.
And now to end this post with some joy 🙂 , watch the video below of a little girl meeting her father’s twin brother for the first time! It is just precious!
Happy Friday Everyone! May your weekend be filled with joy & laughter!
Someone pointed out to me the other day, the real trouble with infertility is you are walking around with a broken heart. No matter how much you are dying inside for the precious blessing of a child, you cannot make one appear.
Mourning for the life you planned out for yourself…and don’t have.
The (Not-So) Newlywed Lefebvres 
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