The Waiting Game

February 18, 2014February 18, 2014 The Not-So Newlywed Lefebvres2 Comments

So, this Tuesday, we thought we might have some good news for you…a miracle to share… but we don’t. Not this time. As I was reading one of my favorite blogs’, Waiting For Baby Bird, posts this morning (which you can see too if you’ll click on the link), I completely identified and empathized with my fellow infertile friend. Waiting on God’s timing is tough, especially when that “perfect” timing comes along – in your eyes, that is.

Each time I think about how this day or that month or this situation is PERFECT in every way, shape and form for our miracle conception, I remember that God’s timing and choosing of my perfect spouse was perfect – but I was “ready” (in my mind) MUCH sooner – like YEARS before He brought us together. But waiting on God was the best thing that could ever have happened in my life. So we are waiting and trusting in the Lord for our precious miracle to come along.

He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord! Psalm 113:9

In other TTC news, more fun is around the corner for us! We thought we might possibly be finished with minor surgeries…but alas, we were wrong! About six months ago, I had an HSG (or hysterosalpingogram) test done and my former ~~unhelpful~~ doctor concluded from the results I had a polyp on my right ovary, which resulted in surgery to remove it in October.

The surgery was the first step to getting things on the right track, and thankfully, we were led to our new and thorough and wonderful doctor who showed us the test results from the HSG…and so, we are gearing up for a tuboplasty on Wednesday afternoon, for which I will be under general anesthesia…We are praying this is another step in the right direction…

…and maintaining our faith that the timing and the miracle God has in store for us is more amazing than anything we could possibly fathom.

Ephesians 3:20

Glory to God, who is able to do far beyond all that we could ask or imagine by his power at work within us;

Rest. That sounds great right about now. Prayers – Much appreciated. 🙂

We love y’all – Don’t forget to enter our giveaway! If you don’t have a Facebook account, comment on this blog post and we’ll put your name in the hat ourselves! If you don’t currently “officially follow” our blog, sign up for that too, and we will give you another entry. For those of you who are already followers, sign up through Facebook and indicate you are already a follower by providing your e-mail address.

We want to be sure everyone of you you has the opportunity to win this awesome little book!

TTC Tuesday

Follow The Leader

February 11, 2014February 11, 2014 The Not-So Newlywed Lefebvres1 Comment

TTC Tuesday…While Craig’s most favorite “blogging day of the week” is Thirsty For Christ Thursday, it’s a toss-up for me between Tuesday and Thursday. Some people have asked why on earth we have chosen to share such an intimate facet of our marriage, and our answer is: we were led to. Believe me, I was not excited about sharing our pain with the world in the beginning…but I do feel God is using Craig & I to bring others to Him, and our pain of infertility is an invitation for many to get to know us.

When I was (finally) diagnosed with PCOS, it was a shocker…I didn’t know much about the disease and I was scared…but I was also glad to know what was behind our infertility. God took this rotten time and discovery in our lives to introduce us to some wonderful people who inspired us with their stories of infertility and both successful and unsuccessful outcomes, and He led us to where we needed to be – not to another doctor (although we found an awesome one – finally!) but to Him.

Winter Jam 2014 was out of this world amazing, and one of the awesome tidbits we gleaned from it is this: Many times, while singing a powerful song to the Lord, people lift up their arms in praise. As very conservative Catholic Christians, every time Craig and I have been in an event where this happens, I think we feel nervous…and like, maybe if we “participate” we’ll be doing it just to “fit in”… The preacher/speaker at Winter Jam told us this: Lifting up your arms to the Lord is not, and SHOULD not be about show. It is not about fitting in.

When children want to be picked up, what do they do?

How beautiful…It brought me to tears and to a realization of Christ as my true Heavenly Father. I was awestruck at the thought and lifted one arm up to the Lord, praying, “Please help us. We NEED you.” I didn’t feel embarrassed or out of place or nervous. I felt at home.

Psalm 107:19-21

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men.

Listen to that still, small voice of God. He will lead you to do incredible things you never imagined. He will lead you into situations that teach you and bless you. Reach out to the Lord, your FATHER, and allow Him to heal you and save you.

TTC Tuesday

With A Learning Spirit Or A Broken Heart?

February 4, 2014 The Not-So Newlywed Lefebvres1 Comment

Yesterday at Pure Barre, at 6AM, there was a young lady in the front of the class…drinking a Starbucks Frappuccino…Yes, in the middle of class…While the rest of us were lifting, tucking and burning…She was half-heartedly going through the movements, rolling her eyes, as if saying, “I have better things to do!”.

Again, this morning…again, at 6AM, there was a different young lady at the front of the class…While she wasn’t drinking a Starbucks coffee, she was half-heartedly going through the movements, looking at her watch, rolling her eyes…

Now, it isn’t any of my business how you participate in your workout class. I’m not paying for your enrollment. But, my goodness, as my husband will attest, Pure Barre ain’t cheap! Why wake up in the morning early enough to make a 6AM class, and pay a premium to participate, if you aren’t going to give it your all and get something out of it?

We should be considering the trials and struggles and hardships we face in our lives in the same way. If you’re currently (or have ever been) trying to conceive, you know it is absolutely the definition of a trial, a struggle, a hardship. It is a disciplined routine of waiting, worry, panic, sadness, hope, and despair. It is hard not to get mucked down with depression after months and months and months (or even years) of placing all your hope in finally becoming parents, and having that hope dashed, repeatedly.

Here is what the Bible has to say about the heartaches and troubles we face here on Earth:

JAMES 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds

So, we should be happy about struggle in our lives? Why?

JAMES 1:3-4 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Difficulties in our lives are times for learning, growth – a reawakening, if you will. As we face something challenging, we should look to see what God could be teaching us as we navigate through the rough waters. One of the greatest men the world has ever known, the apostle, Paul, says (regarding the perpetual ‘thorn in his side’):

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

What life lessons could we learn through the struggle of infertility? Here are some benefits and lessons Craig & I have gained as we have faced this storm in our life head on:

Spiritual Benefits/Lessons/Changes
We have used the past 17 months of marriage, without children, to truly build a solid foundation in our relationship firmly (gaining more and more everyday) rooted in the Lord.
Our prayer life has greatly deepened. We went from praying separately to (nervously) praying together to holding hands and baring our souls out loud as we have a conversation with God – together.
Our relationship with God has deepened. Neither Craig nor I has ever had to go without much. We both come from wonderful, supportive, Christian families, and grew up with equally great siblings. We had everything in the world to be thankful for – but were we, then? I mean, truly, deeply, thankful? Fully appreciative of all the many blessing we had been graced with? No. This difficult time in our life has increased our devotion to the Lord so many times over, I cannot even describe it. If it were appropriate to say the change has been ‘like magic’, I would certainly describe it that way…but it isn’t magic. It’s something so much more amazing. It’s grace.
Worldly Benefits/Lessons/Changes
Craig & I are truly a team. Dealing with infertility, together, in our marriage has created this strong partnership. We know we can go to each other with any.single.thing, and speak openly and honestly about it.
We have a savings account – just for the future Baby Lefebvre – whether by adoption or natural birth.
I was able to gain almost a year’s experience as a nanny to (very) young children. This was real world, invaluable, experience I would never have otherwise had. I am now intensely familiar with potty training a two-year old, changing a tiny baby’s diaper while holding his twin sister on your hip, preparing formula, and getting (twin) infants on a sleep/eat/play schedule-all while entertaining a two-year old. Invaluable experience.

And those are just some of the things we have learned or gained from this angry storm cloud called infertility. I am not, in any way, shape, form or fashion, saying this is fun, ‘not a big deal’, or easy; however, we should absolutely take our trials and grow, learn, and prosper from them.

Just as those two girls in Pure Barre this week were not taking advantage of the workout going on right under their noses, we cannot let the lessons and significant opportunities of our pain and difficulty pass us by. What a waste it would be to sit around and mope (although, the easiest way to pass the time…)… We should be using our time in the tunnel wisely.

My Choice Monday

Music Monday!

January 27, 2014 The Not-So Newlywed Lefebvres1 Comment

Good Morning!

I know a lot of you may be a little cold this morning! The weather report on my drive into the city this morning seemed pretty dismal for both the South and the North. Bundle up and stay warm!

You may need some music to keep you company next to that fireplace, so today, our My Choice Monday is a little collection of songs to motivate you through your workout, keep you company in the car, or to sing along to as you warm your toes next to the fireplace. (*DISCLAIMER* If you are reading this post within an e-mail, please click the link to view the post within your internet browser; otherwise, you will be unable to view the music videos below! This is a good rule of thumb to follow for most of our posts!)

Adele – “Skyfall”

This is probably my very favorite song at the moment. This one rounds out the stretch/yoga portion of my Pure Barre workout most days, and it is soothing and energizing at the same time.

Ellie Goulding – “Anything Could Happen”

Another Pure Barre favorite.

Martin Solvieg ft. Dragonette – “Hello”

Great song for a workout. Awesome tune for a road trip!! (Anyone??)

Mercy Me – “You Are I Am”

This is an amazing song. The video below includes the lyrics, and I think it’s safe to say all of us have “been there”. I especially relate to this, “I’ve been the one to try and say, ‘I’ll overcome by my own strength.'” It’s a great anthem and reminder that with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

Tenth Avenue North – “Worn”

If this one won’t bring you to tears, I don’t know what will. These past 17 months of infertility heartache really ring out true for Craig & I in this song. We are “worn” and we are “ready to see redemption win”.

Hopefully, all of these songs brighten and enhance your Monday! We can’t wait to see you back here tomorrow for TTC Tuesday!

XOXO,

TTC Tuesday

Standing On His Promises

January 14, 2014 The Not-So Newlywed Lefebvres3 Comments

God has been really using the middle of the book of Isaiah this month as I have read His Word. It seems Isaiah is everywhere I turn – Mass, Jesus Calling, One Year Book of Hymns Devotional, blogs we read, and just this morning on the Mentoring Moments For Christian Women Facebook page: What a beautiful thought.

And as it turns out, God may (just maybe!) have a reasoning for pushing me to look at Isaiah more closely. Just take a look at chapter 54:

Isaiah 54:1-17

The Fertility of Zion

54 “Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child;
Break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed;
For the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous
Than the sons of the married woman,” says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent;
[a]Stretch out the curtains of your dwellings, spare not;
Lengthen your cords
And strengthen your pegs.
3 “For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left.
And your [b]descendants will possess nations
And will resettle the desolate cities.

4 “Fear not, for you will not be put to shame;
And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced;
But you will forget the shame of your youth,
And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.
5 “For your husband is your Maker,
Whose name is the Lord of hosts;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel,
Who is called the God of all the earth.
6 “For the Lord has called you,
Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,”
Says your God.
7 “[c]For a brief moment I forsook you,
But with great compassion I will gather you.
8 “In an [d]outburst of anger
I hid My face from you for a moment,
But with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you,”
Says the Lord your Redeemer.

9 “For [e]this is like the days of Noah to Me,
When I swore that the waters of Noah
Would not [f]flood the earth again;
So I have sworn that I will not be angry with you
Nor will I rebuke you.
10 “For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,
But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you,
And My covenant of peace will not be shaken,”
Says the Lord who has compassion on you.

11 “O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted,
Behold, I will set your stones in antimony,
And your foundations I will lay in [g]sapphires.
12 “Moreover, I will make your battlements of [h]rubies,
And your gates of [i]crystal,
And your entire [j]wall of precious stones.
13 “All your sons will be [k]taught of the Lord;
And the well-being of your sons will be great.
14 “In righteousness you will be established;
You will be far from oppression, for you will not fear;
And from terror, for it will not come near you.
15 “If anyone fiercely assails you it will not be from Me.
Whoever assails you will fall because of you.
16 “Behold, I Myself have created the smith who blows the fire of coals
And brings out a weapon for its work;
And I have created the destroyer to ruin.
17 “No weapon that is formed against you will prosper;
And every tongue that [l]accuses you in judgment you will condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their vindication is from Me,” declares the Lord.

Isn’t that something? “Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child“, because God says, “For the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous than the sons of the married woman,”.

We are called to ‘enlarge our tents’, and to me, this is our call to put our full trust in the Lord. It’s like saying, “Lord, I trust you. You have promised in your Word we will be blessed with children, so I will lay that ‘concern’ in your Hands. I will prepare my heart, my soul, my marriage for this blessing, and in the meantime, I know that YOUR timing is perfect.”

Craig & I have started praying for His timing, and His Will to be done in our waiting for our child. It has given me a sense of peace, of an almost relaxation. Craig & I are putting our full trust in God, and devoting our energy – instead of to worrying & frustration – to our relationship with the Lord and with each other.

As my blogger friend & fellow PCOS girl, Elisha said, ” If He can cause a virgin teenager to get pregnant and give birth, then He can cause you to get pregnant and give birth, even with all of your short, long, non-existent cycles, and crazy up and down hormones. Just believe.”

Well friends, I have a ton of e-mails to respond to and a new guest post to begin writing (Stay tuned!)… If you didn’t have a chance to read yesterday’s guest post at The Veil of Chastity, you can here.

We will see y’all tomorrow for What’s Up Wednesday! In the meantime, follow our blog and “like” us on Facebook (see the Follow widgets in our left sidebar)!

Love Love Love,

TTC Tuesday

Grieving What Never Was

January 7, 2014 The Not-So Newlywed Lefebvres8 Comments

{Deep breath}

Oh, this is a hard topic. For me anyway…and for any of you out there who have experienced infertility. This post covers something never spoken about, but felt so strongly by those of us who have endured this trial. Those of you who have had no issues in conceiving a child might not understand this pain, but for those of us who know it – it stings. (What an understatement.)

Gena Golas of the blog “CT Working Moms“, writes in the Huffington Post about “The Five Stages Of Infertility Grief“, and while it might seem a humorous post for some…It is all too real to be laughable.

For those of us who deal with infertility on a daily basis, to hear: “Oh, it’ll happen. Don’t think about it so much. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.” or “It will happen as soon as you ‘stop trying so hard’,” is akin to being punched in the stomach. I can’t tell you how many times we have heard those phrases, and on each of those occasions, I have been forced to hold back my tears. Every time we see horror stories on the news about child abuse and neglect, I am reduced to a puddle on the floor – wondering why them, and why not us!?!?

I will admit it gets harder and harder every single day to bow my head in prayer for the same thing Craig and I have been praying for for the past 16 months. I keep in my heart Hannah, Sarah, Rachel, the mother of Samson…Women of the Bible who were infertile only temporarily, until God stepped in and gave them a blessing, a miracle, an utterly amazing gift.

I keep these verses close by for comfort:

“…that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 2:5
“…God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

At the end of the day, this excerpt from the Infertility Survival Guide by Cindy Lewis Dake, hits the nail on the head of how Craig and I feel:

“We have a good life together. I don’t want us to “embrace the emptiness” that seems to swallow up some infertile couples. “Empty arms” doesn’t mean empty hearts. When a couple desperately wants a child, they begin to think their life is empty without one. They become completely centered on the quest for a child, financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. We don’t want that feeling to ever control us. We love our life together and want to always be satisfied with it, so if a child comes along, he/she will be an added blessing.”

But it is the biggest struggle we have ever faced – together or apart – to go on without that blessing – wondering if we will ever be blessed with a child.

As always, we ask for your prayers.

All Our Love,

Uncategorized

…and tomorrow I’ll have pictures…

December 5, 2013 The Not-So Newlywed Lefebvres1 Comment

Knock-Knock…

We’re back!!!!!!! …and hopefully, you’re still there; still willing to read what we have to share, and we thank you so much for your patience. Geez, I sound like a phone recording for a business who has you on hold. Sorry about that!

So…alot has happened while Craig and I have been non-blogging… Here’s a short and to the point synopsis:

We had a great road-trip to Missouri for Craig’s cousin, Cara’s, wedding. Afterwards, we hung around MO for a mini family reunion of sorts in Branson -talk about a vacation so great and jam-packed you need a vacation once you’re home!
We enjoyed a visit with my grandmother in New Jersey for several days. Craig got to meet a lot of family members he had never met (sort of a reversal from my meeting a lot of new family while we were in Missouri), and he really hit it off with my Uncle Vic (my grandmother’s sister, Angie’s, husband)! Talk about peas in a pod… If you think ladies talk when they get together…oh my. We had a ton of fun!
We celebrated our one year anniversary (and my birthday) with a trip to North Carolina – Wilmington, and the town I feel as if I ‘grew-up’ in, Fayetteville. I think one of the things I realized by this third trip of the summer (and one of many trips in our relationship, engagement, and marriage) is that the longer we are together, the closer we become. The closer we are, the better and more enjoyable our getaways become – no matter where it is we venture. I might even say that we had more fun as a couple in Wilmington, NC, after a year of marriage, than we did after four months of marriage in Rome, Italy. Marriage (ours anyway) is like a fine wine….It just keeps getting better, the longer and the MORE we are together. That is just one of many many many wonderful things I have discovered over this past year and almost 3 months of marriage to my amazing husband. 😉
The source – thus far – of our infertility was diagnosed two-fold: a polyp blocking my right fallopian tube and PCOS.
I had surgery to remove the polyp and all went well!
I was offered a wonderful job opportunity out-of-the-blue…and accepted the position! Sadly, I had to leave my nanny position, but fortunately, Craig and I were blessed with my new job and all of the possibilities it brings with it, i.e. tuition reimbursement!
Craig and I bought our first car together! We love it – so much fun to drive and unbelievable fuel efficiency!
Almost a year and three months later, we are still trying to conceive. I’m currently taking Metformin to aid with the insulin resistance brought about by good ol’ PCOS, and we are in the midst of my first round of Letrazole. As always, we are placing our hope in the Lord, and believing faithfully that He has a miraculous plan in store for our journey together. We pray constantly this plan includes the blessing of children from Him.

Whew! It’s been a busy past few months! As soon as I have a spare second, I will post the pictures of our adventures here. It won’t be too long either, because I’m anxious to show you our Christmas decorations!

We thank you again for keeping The Newlywedlefebvres on your blogroll, and ask that you continue to keep us in your prayers. Infertility and PCOS are uphill battles, and nothing less. We pray for His Will to be our will, and that His Will be done.

“My thoughts are not your thoughts; neither are your ways My ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways and thoughts higher than yours.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Our Love & Greetings,

Pier & Craig